5 years gone
I have not written in a long while, but I knew, once the 5 year mark was closer, that I would mark this dreadful occasion with a blog post. It has been 5 years, and we are no longer a coherent whole, my world of familiarity and stability ceased to exist 5 years ago. Having lost all my recognised patterns of what life was meant to be I have now settled into solo parenthood and aloneness. I have now grown begrudgingly accustomed to a new rhythm, where I am solely reliant on myself. I will not sell this as a good place to be, but paradoxically, I am not in a bad place either. I haven't chosen to be in this place, constantly rushing because this is the only speed where things get done, a routine of watching TV alone and going to bed at 9pm because I am so tired that I need all the sleep I can get, the sleep of the damned. Of course my husband didn't leave a vacancy, he left a life long void that is hard to fulfill, even if you drop standards and expectations. This "vacancy...
